A Moment in Time

Happiness is free

2012-01-28T14:31:00.004+08:00

Often, we see advice on newspapers, magazines or the tv on how we can save money. Well, I think the answer is simple - don't spend more than you earn.
The difficult part is how to stop ourselves from buying things we don't need.

Most people purchase things out of impulse which advertising helps to sway in the first place. It could induce a certain sense of achievement or happiness at the point of purchase, but social studies have shown that this happiness dissipates very quickly.

Also, most people purchase things far more than the required quantity that they need. This leads to wastage. Think of the food, clothes, electronic items we buy over time. In modern advertising, the role is to sway consumers away from one product to another, resulting in us consuming more. Ask yourself if the switching cost is worth it.

Actually, most things that make you happy for the longer term are free ~ a relaxed mind allowing you to take a walk or jog in the park, taking part in sports or personal hobbies, and a healthy body would make one happier for a much longer period of time. We don't have to buy things to be happy, happiness is right inside of us all the time.

Balance is key in a good vegetarian diet

2012-01-25T20:28:00.000+08:00

許茹芸 & 阿穆隆 - 男人女人

2012-01-24T18:37:00.001+08:00

梁詠琪 & 古巨基 - 許願

2012-01-24T18:34:00.002+08:00

张学友 - 味道

2012-01-21T18:09:00.002+08:00

张学友 - 眼泪

2012-01-21T17:39:00.002+08:00

Life will be good

2012-01-16T20:40:00.001+08:00

If you have the confidence, resolute, and willingness, your life will turn out well.
It is only a matter of time, sooner or later.

Most importantly, you must believe that what you do deserves your effort and is meaningful. :)

(click to enlarge)

Have confidence in yourself

2012-01-15T18:34:00.000+08:00

People without faith in themselves are like a candle without a flame, though it may have a physical presence, it is not really living up to its full potential because it is not providing any light to the world. Having faith and self-confidence in one's own self is a quality that breeds more qualities.

When we're able to believe in ourselves we are then able to dream, make plans, set goals, be motivated and determined to do things because of the faith we have. Those who have faith in themselves also rub off on the people around them, and usually help inspire people who are able to make a real change to the world. We must not be afraid to live as the people who we really are deep down in hearts, for in this world of darkness, every candle that is lit will help provide a great amount of light.

Keeping the faith and keeping a hopeful positive attitude is one of the hardest yet most rewarding concepts to understand and to apply into our everyday lives. Through the roughest times in our lives it seems as though all we should and can do is give up. Keeping our heads up to the sky, and keeping a forward resolve, even through times of adversity is essential to making it to where we want to be in life. Remember that the greatest of people are those who overcame some of the greatest challenges that life had to offer.

Maintain hope, for hope is sometimes all you have to hold on to during times where it seems as if all is lost, and that you shouldn't continue forward. Maintain the fight, and keep believing in yourself, in doing so everything else will fall in place, and everything will work out for the greatest good!

周蕙 - 好想好好爱你

2012-01-15T14:10:00.003+08:00

我口袋里还有你给的温馨
我的手心还有你吻的气息
低低的云让想念的人喘不过气
而你的背影会在哪里平静
跟踪记忆我才能和你接近
除了可惜眼泪没有声音
有一些人容易动情也容易忘情
我爱过了你心永远在那里
好想好好爱你
这一句话只能藏成秘密
关上窗外的雨
反复碰触你爱过的痕迹
好想好好爱你
却没有权利再把你抱紧
从今以后如果你能快乐
就别管我想你
想对你说
You're always be my love
我还是好想你

周蕙 - 不想让你知道

2012-01-15T14:06:00.005+08:00

忽然不想让你知道

在我心中你多重要
既然你要自由
你就得到
让你永远都记得我好

忽然不想让你知道
你的爱我已经戒不掉
就让思念淹没
我不想逃
反正你将永远不知道

今夜星光多美好
适合用寂寞去凭吊
我们曾用爱互相依靠
付出多少不用计较
想一个人多美好
就算只剩记忆可参考
被爱放逐到天涯海角
我的思念你不用都知道

直到有天你我年老
回忆随着白发风中闪耀
至少我清清楚楚知道
你若想起我会微笑

It is just a job

2012-01-10T20:42:00.001+08:00

Your job is just a job. Yes, we all need the money to pay our bill etc etc. However, remember...it isn't your family, your children, your life or your soul.

Having a bad day at work should not cause us to:
- Lose sleep, lose social life
- Lose our appetite, skip meals
- Get stressed, frustrated, irritated
- Or any other negative consequences

I am surprised that very often, these things are done by people because they had a bad day. Yes, they may have a whole series of bad days... But if taken one at a time, it is just a bad day. We have to learn to switch off, relax, not take it so seriously, enjoy life more, put things into perspective.

Get a hobby, get a life. Put your family and health first. Furthermore, there are the holidays to savour e.g. with the upcoming Chinese New Year to look forward to.

The irony is, I myself was recently "infected" with the "take work home with you" bug. It is the norm in my current workplace, I dread it. Work had pile on so much that I always seem to be chasing a moving target.

I have to constantly remind myself to minimize this. And I may just have to think of ways to deal with it - quick lunches, coming in office early etc.

We must learn to work to live, not live to work (even if you love your job). Remember, it is just a job.

陳奕迅 - 好久不見

2012-01-10T17:33:00.004+08:00

我来到你的城市 , 走过你来时的路
想像着没我的日子 , 你是怎样的孤独
拿着你给的照片 , 熟悉的那一条街
只是没了你的画面 , 我们回不到那天

你会不会忽然的出现 , 在街角的咖啡店
我会带着笑脸挥手寒喧 , 和你坐着聊聊天
我多么想和你见一面 , 看看你最近改变
不再去说从前只是寒喧 , 对你说一句只是说一句
好久不见

拿着你给的照片 , 熟悉的那一条街
只是没了你的画面 , 我们回不到那天

你会不会忽然的出现 , 在街角的咖啡店
我会带着笑脸挥手寒喧 , 和你坐着聊聊天
我多么想和你见一面 , 看看你最近改变
不再去说从前只是寒喧 , 对你说一句只是说一句
好久不见

蘇永康 - 我不是一個愛過就算的人

2012-01-10T17:26:00.001+08:00

点不燃你心中那盏灯
就在大风的夜我等了又等
悬空的心总在星光中翻滚
坠落一杯满满情真
忘不了梦里轻轻一吻
就在热闹的街我向前狂奔
期盼的眼终于溢出了泪痕
装满一碗浓浓情深
我不是一个爱过就算的人
爱过的每一刹那都是我永恒
哪怕风愈吹愈冷
哪怕爱情有伤痕
你还是我最思念的人
我不是一个爱过就算的人
只希望有个诚恳无悔的过程
哪怕你永远不能
就算我孤注一生
也不介意在你眼眸里自焚

点不燃你心中那盏灯
就在大风的夜我等了又等
悬空的心总在星光中翻滚
坠落一杯满满情真
忘不了梦里轻轻一吻
就在热闹的街我向前狂奔
期盼的眼终于溢出了泪痕
装满一碗浓浓情深
我不是一个爱过就算的人
爱过的每一刹那都是我永恒
哪怕风愈吹愈冷
哪怕爱情有伤痕
你还是我最思念的人
我不是一个爱过就算的人
只希望有个诚恳无悔的过程
哪怕你永远不能
就算我孤注一生
也不介意在你眼眸里自焚

古巨基 - 中箭

2012-01-10T17:21:00.003+08:00

他恨下雨天
他酷爱古典乐
他沉默寡言
他时常逛书店
那一天他讲了
丘比特常失手
爱情太危险
他跟我约好了
让彼此自由一点
我开始想念
和他的每一天
聊了一整夜
说自己的从前
忽然在心理面
我隐约有一种
痛的感觉
也许是我
被他命中了
我心中的缺
我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭

我开始想念
和他的每一天
聊了一整夜
说自己的从前
忽然在心理面
我隐约有一种
痛的感觉
也许是我
被他命中了
我心中的缺
我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他第七天
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭

我猜我是中了箭
才遇上他第七天
那一瞬间我有些晕眩
像全世界从此被偷走时间
我中了爱情的箭
很痛但是心很甜
我躲不开也不想避免
他没发现却在我身上应验
我中了一箭

施文斌 - 忘不了

2012-01-10T17:16:00.000+08:00

翻开一本旧日记
记载着一段旧恋情
每段都那么的甜蜜
往事历历在这里
曾看过多少的风雨
曾说过要到哪里去
曾做过觉得傻的事
爱过在这城市里
昨晚下了一场雨
让我忽然梦里见到你
躲在某个地方哭泣
好想紧紧抱着你
有一次从朋友口中听到你消息
我的心都在发抖
你是否孤身一人

分手两年后我还是想着你
多久没有见过你
现在你住在哪里
只怕有一天我们都会老去
只想留一点回忆能够让我们依靠

我在一个咖啡店
透过玻璃窗往外望
你的人影无所不在
无心无魂的想你

昨晚下了一场雨
让我忽然梦里见到你
躲在某个地方哭泣
好想紧紧抱着你
有一次从朋友口中听到你消息
我的心都在发抖
你是否孤身一人 (我不停追问)

分手两年后我还是想着你
多久没有见过你
现在你住在哪里
只怕有一天我们都会老去
只想留一点回忆能够让我们依靠
为什么人总要等到失去才珍惜
我来不及想告诉你要永远不分离

分手两年后我还是想着你
多久没有见过你
现在你住在哪里
只怕有一天我们都会老去
只想留一点回忆能够让我们依靠

Give up some tech to enjoy life

2012-01-09T17:51:00.004+08:00

How many of you have handphones? Laptops? Tablets? Many of us (if not all) would have these or more. What would life be without all these? We rely too much on tech to let it go. We are too "connected" to technology that we just can't seem to "disconnect" from them, and "reconnect" to our true human lives.

I would like to share this article I read last week (click to enlarge):

I, for one, am willing to forgo tech for a day or two, to really savour the real life as it is. No tech, no wires (or wireless), no electronic stuff, just plain sweet life. :)

Make the most of time

2012-01-08T15:53:00.001+08:00

One of the most important goal of life is to make the most of our time before it is too late.

When you find yourself running out of time, you will sacrifice almost anything to get more.
In the process, we will not have "more time", only less time for other things in life.
The result is neglect, regret, frustration, tiredness and more.

Remember, another important goal of life is to be happy.

We have to balance our time, maximize it to do things (or more) that make us happy and your loved ones happy.

In my current work environment, I see many chasing after work deadlines, rushing for appointments, skipping meals, working on weekends, falling sick, etc. I constantly remind myself that work is primarily to feed our body only (even if you love your job). We must take care of our mind and soul.

I begin to realise that I do not wish to work in any big, famous organisation in the future. The bigger the organisation, the more expectations there are to meet, hence the increased stress and pressure. Much time is often wasted in decision making as there are many layers in the hierarchy to pass through.

I work best in a small or mid size (less than 300-500) company. I value down-to-earth people and organisations. It is indeed a rarity in this era, but they still exist. If necessary, I do not mind a pay cut to work in a junior position, as long as the job is meaningful and the environment condusive. Actually, I am already earning much less than my friends and peers. Sounds drastic?

Not really. I rather spend less time working, and spend more time on life. Almost 1/3 of our lives are spent studying and working. That is alot. I want to make the most of it. I don't mind earning more time, and earning less money.

What is wealth without health?

2012-01-08T15:28:00.003+08:00

Most of you would know by now, how health conscious I am. I had several conditions which would have been aggravated much worse if I did not maintain a watchful diet and exercise. These conditions had gradually change my outlook on life and made me appreciate the importance of good health.

Alot of people fail to realise that staying healthy is the most important priority and asset to possess. No matter how good looking you are, or how senior your role is in your company, or how many friends you have, or how loving your partner/family is, or how rich you are, or how intelligent your are, or how .... well you get. Many of these will not matter much if our health fails.

When we are healthy, we take it for granted and start indulging in fast food / junk food / unhealthy food. When we fall sick, we start taking notice and need to maintain healthy meals to cure ourselves. Once we recover, we start this cycle over again. How ironic. Why fall into the trap of unnecessary indulgences in the first place? Some say its to pamper ourselves, some say 能吃是福. Indeed, it is hard not to be tempted by the remarkably wide range of cuisines, restaurants, hawker centres, cafes. For me, the key to this "problem" is substitution, balance, self discipline.

Substitution - If I suddenly felt like wanting to get some fast food, I immediately think of the other options I have, that taste just as nice for me, yet much healthier. Over time, my brain had automatically collected this list without me trying too hard.

Balance - If I have to join friends or family members or social gathering where I have no choice but to eat unhealthy food, I try to reduce the intake. If your daily food consumption has always been healthy, then an occasional, small portion of this indulgence should not do much harm. If your daily meals are already oily, salty, too sweet, saucy, or spicy, then you better avoid having such food. Of course, balance also means many other aspects such as exercise, what you drink, sleeping habits etc.

Self discipline - Your body is yours. Your health is yours. What you eat makes who you are. What others eat is for them to decide. No one person has the same health condition. So learn to cultivate a constant awareness of your body signals and past health experiences you had.

Above all, cherish your health and do not abuse or "stretch" the limits of your body too much. Health is one of the important treasure most of us have, yet it is one which we often lose it without us knowing.

Vegetarian or Non-meat

2012-01-03T20:14:00.000+08:00

There was an interesting letter on yesterday's Today (erm.. no punt intended) which discussed the reasons and merits of being vegetarian. (click to enlarge)

I have to agree that having more vegetables (than meat) is beneficial in many sense (more than the 3 which the article mentioned):

1. Health reasons -
Vegetables have alot more vitamins than meat.
Vegetables and fruits are alot easier to digest than meat. Your stomach will thank you.
High consumption of meat leads to higher risk of contracting diseases and infection (e.g. heart disease).
For those looking to lose weight, having more greens is one of the most easiest and convenient way to do so.
Forget pills, vegetables and fruits are natural detoxification food.

2. Protect our environment -
Reduce global warming through over rearing animals. Animal waste are difficult to dispose or handle.
http://www.earthsave.org/globalwarming.htm

3. Kindness to animals -
I believe there is no need to kill in order to survive. Animals are innocent.

4. Lower food costs -
Some may mistaken feel that a vegetarian meal costs just as much as a normal meal with meat. If you have to cook at home, you will realise that the real costs of vegetables are much lower than meat.

5. Colour -
Vegetables and fruits add colour (naturally) to your plate than meat do. Your meal will look more appetizing.

6. Easy to cook and prepare -
Vegetables are much easier and faster to cook than meat.

I personally subscribe to all reasons. Over the past few years, I have become a "part-time" vegetarian - meaning I will have a vegetarian meal if there is chance for me to have one. This is irregardless of whether it is the time of the lunar month where buddhist have to eat vegetarian meals. Being vegetarian is a way of live, much more beyond religion. It only coincidental that buddhism and hinduism advocates it. I strongly encourage everyone regardless of race or religion to have more veg, less meat. So far, I managed to have vegetarian meals at least half the time. I am not sure if I will become a full time vegetarian in the future, but having vegetables and fruits certainly feeds my body, mind and soul well.

The benefits may be alot more than what I shared. So rather than asking why go vegetarian, perhaps the real question is; Why haven't you gone vegetarian?

Procrastination

2012-01-02T14:05:00.000+08:00

That’s a terrible line to begin this post with, but it’s true.

Unfortunately for us procrastination is a part of human nature.

Everyone procrastinates. But that’s no excuse.

Procrastination is something we all joke about but it’s actually quite a crippling thing. Think of all the things we could do if we didn’t procrastinate?

Personally I would have gotten out of bed earlier this morning, had a shorter shower, gotten more done at work, caught up on lots of things I had wanted to do for ages. I would be more productive and more effective. My life would be better, I would probably be healthier, save more money, better relationships, more fun…

Often we manage to break out of our procrastination for long enough to catch up on things. But then we get comfortable and slip back into it. Let's hesitate less and start doing more!

A funny look at procrastination (from yesterday's straits times) :D (click to view larger image)

Yashica Electro 35 GSN

2012-01-02T09:33:00.001+08:00

While doing some spring cleaning, my dad showed me a old Yashica Electro camera which he kept for over 20 years! This is a very retro camera. I heard people said amazing things about this camera and I was pleasantly surprised to have one in my hands. Holding this feels like a big step back in time.

The camera feels very solid, weighing about 700g (between my canon G11's 500g and sony A35's 900g). This camera is a 35mm range-finder (i.e. something like leica) but lower priced. This was very popular in the 70s and 80s with photographers.

Here are some info about this super retro camera:
http://www.kenrockwell.com/yashica/electro-35.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yashica_Electro_35
http://www.mattdentonphoto.com/cameras/yashica_gsn.html

A pity that the camera isn't working now (actually I don't expect it to after so long). I am trying to get it fixed or restored. The battery is the biggest challenge as it uses the old 5.6v battery which cannot be found in this era. The lens looks fine (a made-in-japan DX 1:17 - 16 lens ... woah!). Getting traditional film should manageable, i think there are shops that still sells them. If anyone knows how to get this camera working, do let me know! Thanks!

Here are some photos for viewing pleasure (some posed with my Canon G11 and Sony A35 for size comparison).

Reflecting 2011

2011-12-31T17:10:00.000+08:00

2011 was a tiring and unforgettable year.

1. I consider myself extremely lucky that I still got some sanity in me and support from friends to climb out of darkness. I met some friends who had recovered from depression, biopolar depression, panic disorder, schizophrenia. They shared some very personal and insightful experiences. A HUGE THANK YOU to you guys. Out of all these chit chats, a common problem arises; lack of social support, social stigma and misunderstanding. I believe there needs to be increased awareness and education to the public on what is depression. I may be writing to IMH or HPB to highlight about this.

Having sent myself for "repairs", I am recovering well on all fronts; emotionally, mentally, physically. I did not take the medication for depression as I was confident of pulling myself out of this, and also due to my gastric problems. In terms of overall well being, I am no where near what I was (about a year ago). As long as I stay disciplined and happy, I am hopeful I will attain complete recovery by early next year. Wish me the best! :)

My repair status (as at 31/12/2011):
Physical: 6/10
Mental: 9/10
Emotional: 7/10

2. Career dilemma.
I had recently switched lines to do Organisation Development work. As a hands on person, I am ready to learn as much as I can. However, the reality of OD was far from what I expected. Having been working in the finance line for a couple of years, this change was probably too dramatic. OD at my current workplace is a "paper chasing" and "award chasing" job. The real OD work which I envisioned was to help improve processes, build organisation capacity and knowledge, to enhance employees' working environment. As my current work is on a 2 year contract, I still have some time to consider my options. At the same time, I hope to make the best of my current job (even though I have other plans in mind).

Given my interests and strengths, I thought of some possible paths to take;
a) going back to doing finance work in quasi govt or stat boards,
b) doing administrative/finance work in social service sector,
c) switch to Knowledge Management work.

Whichever option I choose, one of the prerequisites of the job which I wish to have is to be able to help people. I enjoy helping everyone to the best of my abilities and see meaning in doing so.

3. 2011 will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I lead a simple and contented life, and am mindful of luxuries and extravagances which I cannot afford. This include constantly being aware of what I perceive as happiness. I continue to hold this practice so that I will treasure and cherish what I have, at each and every moment in time.

2011 was indeed a challenging year for me, and felt as if I had made a detour in life, and unknowingly climbed a mountain which I did not expect to. Nonetheless, it was a fruitful one where I understood myself better. I believe all journeys in life will be insightful for everyone, myself included. 2012 should be a phase where descend this mountain, and re-correct my travel plans.

I do have a small wish. If the wish turns out true, it will be a pleasant bonus.
If not, I have to close that chapter in my life.

Here's me wishing everyone, good health and happiness in 2012. :)

Writing my thoughts

2011-12-31T17:01:00.000+08:00

I discovered writing as an interesting outlet to discuss my feelings and thoughts. When I write things down, my thoughts become clearer. I also have the chance to reflect and see things from a different perspective. It makes me feel so much better emotionally. This translates into better mental and physical health. A bonus to this is that it connects me with my friends who have been going through and talking to me about it, and building meaningful relationships in the process.

Thank you everyone for reading my blog. I do not see myself shutting this down soon.

Things change, but feelings stay the same.

2011-12-31T15:55:00.003+08:00

When we truly love someone, no matter what happens between us, and what separates you from them, the love for someone and certain feelings that you have for them will never change. Years after a rough break up with a love of a lifetime will not make every feeling you have for that past love go away because you were "programmed" to love that person for your lifetime.

If you are left with feelings for someone after many of things have changed, it is crucial for you to recognize that you aren't the only one who still has feelings for someone after so much has changed, and after both parties have moved on. This is a normal part of losing a loved one, and you probably wouldn't be human if you didn't sometimes remember someone that you loved very deeply. Learning to manage these feelings will be difficult but don't let them stop you from continuing to live your life.

Things change, but feelings stay the same.

Be sooo happy that ...

2011-12-29T22:07:00.001+08:00

Many of us may find it hard to believe and a lot of us even tend to overlook how contagious that happy, positive vibes really are. When you are having a rough day, or when you are going through a rough period in your life the easiest thing to do is to treat everyone in your life, including yourself, with the same negative energy that life is giving to you. One challenge that I dare you to attempt on a daily basis, is to make a conscious attempt to be happy.

Doing so consist of thinking positive thoughts when your mind is trying to tell you to think negative ones. Smiling as much as possible, when passing someone while walking, or even when life makes you want to do the opposite. Speak positive words, do not let life get the best of you and coerce you to speak negatively about anything. Even in the worst situations when everyone else around you is speaking negatively about whatever is going on, just put a smile on your face, don't give in to the easier task of spreading negative energy, but spread, positive words of encouragement and love instead!

陶喆 - 沙滩

2011-12-28T21:29:00.000+08:00

空无一人这片沙滩
风吹过来冷冷海岸
我轻轻抖落鞋里的沙
看着我的脚印
OH一个人一步步
好寂寞

看海有些绿天有些蓝
那段爱情有些遗憾
像不知不觉游向海天
到最深的地方
才发现你早已经
放弃我

我听着海浪温柔的呼吸
我看着云朵飘来飘去
有什么方法
让自己真的忘记

ONLY BLUE ONLY BLUE
爱让人好忧郁
我的心我的心
蓝蓝地

我真的想找一条船
能远远离开这片沙滩
每次又回到同样海边
还是对你想念
想念你有点BLUE
没有人能像你
留给我的回忆
有点BLUE OOH
ONLY BLUE

Choices in bad circumstances

2011-12-28T14:46:00.001+08:00

Whenever we have trials and tribulations in our life we can let those things become us, kill us or overcome them and be strengthened for our future forever. A lot of times we are confronted with problems and are easily discouraged. Some of us have the nature of seeing obstacles in our way and electing to let those obstacles stop us from progressing, and settling in the position we are in. Whenever we start to feel this way we must stop and analyze our thinking immediately, and seek encouragement.

When something bad happens, we have 3 choices;
1. Let it define you
2. Let it destroy you
3. Let it strengthen you

Give time

2011-12-28T13:45:00.001+08:00

In any and all relationships that we have in which we care for another person and have some kind of commitment to this person, we have to be willing to sacrifice. Yes sometimes we must give things that we may not always want to give away, and included in this is our time. Time is very important because it is something that once gone will never be given back, but is necessary to give away to people... we love in order to best strengthen the bond that we have with them.

Making the time out of our busy days to spend with those that we love is probably the best way to show someone that we care. Life is more about how present you are in somebody else's instead of how much material wealth that you are able or desire to give them. Instead of your relationships being about what you can spend on presents to your loved ones, make it about what you can spend in time with your loved ones, your presence.

If you really like someone, there is no such thing as not having enough time for them.

陈奕迅 - 遇见了你

2011-12-27T21:22:00.000+08:00

遇见了你让生命美好
我看见繁华的春天爱情如阳光闪耀
我给你我的爱
离开了我你默默低头
我看见往事如云烟爱情沉重的忧愁
那依旧温暖的笑容啊
那不再提起的永恒
那曾经完整的美梦啊
此时此刻你也会遗憾吗
终于你离开了我带着我给你的爱
带着我的幸福飞到了天边
到另一个世界留下我的伤
终于你离开了我

离开了我你默默低头
我看见往事如云烟爱情沉重的忧愁
那依旧温暖的笑容啊
那不再提起的永恒
那曾经完整的美梦啊
此时此刻你也会遗憾吗
终于你离开了我带着我给你的爱
带着我的幸福飞到了天边
到另一个世界留下我的伤
终于你离开了我

爱到最深处不该怨尤
是对自己的承诺
只是他不曾了解我
告诉他我还爱他

终于你离开了我带着我给你的爱
带着我的幸福飞到了天边
到另一个世界留下我的伤
终于你离开了我带着我给你的爱
带着我的幸福飞到了天边
到另一个世界留下我的伤
终于你离开了我

张学友 - 心如刀割

2011-12-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

我的天是灰色
我的心是蓝色
触摸着你的心
竟是透明的

你的悠然自得
我却束手无策
我的心痛竟是你的快乐
其实我不想对你恋恋不舍
但什么让我辗转反侧
不觉我说着说着天就亮了
我的唇角尝到一种苦涩

我是真的为你哭了
你是真的随他走了
就在这一刻
全世界伤心角色又多了我一个

我是真的为你爱了
你是真的跟他走了
能给的我全都给了我都舍得
除了让你知道我心如刀割

你的悠然自得
我却束手无策
我的心痛竟是你的快乐
其实我不想对你恋恋不舍
但什么让我辗转反侧
不觉我说着说着天就亮了
我的唇角尝到一种苦涩

我是真的为你哭了
你是真的随他走了
就在这一刻
全世界伤心角色又多了我一个

我是真的为你爱了
你是真的跟他走了
能给的我全都给了我都舍得
除了让你知道我心如刀割

陳奕迅 - 聖誕結 (Lonely Christmas)

2011-12-25T16:27:00.001+08:00

我住的城市从不下雪
记忆却堆满冷的感觉
思念到忘记霓虹扫过喧哗的街
把快乐赶得好远
落单的恋人最怕过节
只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉
我爱过的人没有一个留在身边
寂寞他陪我过夜
merry merry christmas,
lonely lonely christmas 
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
lonely lonely christmas
merry merry christmas 
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的象街上的纸屑

落单的恋人最怕过节
只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉
我爱过的人没有一个留在身边
寂寞他陪我过夜
merry merry christmas
lonely lonely christmas 
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
lonely lonely christmas
merry merry christmas 
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的象街上的纸屑
电话不接不要被人发现我整夜都关在房间
缓缓的响声听来象哀悼的音乐
眼眶的泪温热冻结
望着电视里的无聊节目
躺在沙发上变成没知觉的植物
merry merry christmas
lonely lonely christmas 
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
lonely lonely christmas
merry merry christmas 
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的象街上的纸屑
merry merry christmas
lonely lonely christmas 
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
lonely lonely christmas
merry merry christmas 
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的象街上的纸屑
谁来陪我过这圣诞节

Break the circle of ill health

2011-12-23T20:15:00.001+08:00

Many parents may be familiar with this scenario: A child develops a stomach ache on the first day of school and ends up staying home.

The root cause is probably psychological - the child does not want to attend classes, perhaps, because of the fear of the unknown.

The stomach ache may not have an actual physical cause such as a virus or bacterium.

But that does not necessarily mean that it is imaginary.

What disturbs the mind can have a ripple effect on the body, causing real physical problems.

In fact, a term has been coined to describe conditions which affects both mind and body - psychosomatic.

But in some cases, those who are mentally ill develop chronic physical illnesses, rather than merely physical symptoms.

Conversely, those with chronic physical illness may also end up developing psychological symptoms which lead to mental disorders.

Results of the 3 year Singapore Mental Health Survey released last month show that more than half of mentally unwell patients have a chronic physical illness at the same time.

http://www.ttsh.com.sg/about-us/newsroom/news/article.aspx?id=2781

It also found that 14.3% of those with a chronic physical illness suffer from a mental one concurrently.

Having to deal with not one but two chronic conditions simultaneously is no child's play.

If you or your loved ones have developed a chronic disease, be it physical or mental, watch out for another one which might follow in its wake and take steps to prevent it if you can.

Savour the moment

2011-12-22T20:59:00.001+08:00

"Rejoice in the things that are present; all else is beyond thee."

We rarely put this theory into practice. We seldom pause to watch the clouds drift by, or stop to smell the flowers by the gardens, or even listen properly to the songs playing on the radio.

Instead, we fritter away the moments thinking about other things. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, we let life slip through our fingers.

We should be practical; that we must reflect on the past and plan for the future. Yet, we should not allow the past and future to blot out the present.

Sometimes we run through life too fast. Just like climbing up a mountain without resting; we may tired ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally. Mountains should not be be climbed too quickly. It is a mistake to be always looking ahead, as though nothing matters but the summit.

The journey is every bit as important as the destination. When you are no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to an end, but an unique event in itself. It's the side of the mountains which sustain life, not the top. However, this does not mean that the future is unimportant or that goals are unnecessary. Without the top of the mountain, you cannot have any sides. The future shapes our lives, but it need not dominate them. To live only for some future goal is shallow and makes our lives miserable.

To commit to the present moment, to cultivate mindfulness will create better self awareness of what you already have, what you currently take for granted.

Some of my regular activities are goal-oriented or outcome-oriented. Examples; I went for further studies to switch career lines, I took up photography because I wanted to take nice photos, I exercise because i want to stay healthy. But to view these activities as merely means to an end would be a terrible mistake. Why so? Because studying, taking photos, exercising can be interesting, challenging and worthwhile activities in themselves.

Once we are mindful of each and every moment, we will treasure what we have.

品冠 - 那些女孩教我的事

2011-12-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

要不是你让想念猖狂打破天窗
我不会发现枕头上的荒凉
以为你就是故乡
却变成我的流浪
谁的傍晚是谁的天亮

十九八七六十六亿人同时狂欢
五四三二一个人倒数孤单
回忆的拥挤广场
假装你还在身旁
就像你最爱依赖我的肩膀

第一行诗的狂妄
第一首歌的难忘
第一次吻你的唇你的倔强
第一颗流星灿烂
第一个天真愿望
第一个诺言美丽的荒唐
你教我爱的善良
你教我恨的野蛮
你教我忘记该忘伤心太伤
那些你教我的事
让思念更苦更长
只想问想念的想念的想念的你怎么样

爱情是信仰或只能是旅途风光
那女孩带我漫游一次天堂
你教我怎么爱上
却没教怎么遗忘
让我的阳光都变成了泪光第一行诗的狂妄
第一首歌的难忘
第一次吻你的唇你的倔强
第一颗流星灿烂
第一个天真愿望
第一个诺言美丽的荒唐
你教我爱的善良
你教我恨的野蛮
你教我忘记该忘伤心太伤
那些你教我的事
让思念更苦更长
只想问想念的想念的想念的你怎么样

周杰伦 - 说了再见

2011-12-18T20:09:00.002+08:00

天亮了 雨下了 你走了
清楚了 我爱的 遗失了
落叶飘在湖面上睡著了

想要放 放不掉 泪在飘
你看看 你看看 看不到
我假装过去不重要 却发现自己办不到

说了再见 才发现再也见不到
我不能就这样失去你的微笑
口红待在桌脚 而你我找不到
若角色对调你说好不好

说了再见 才发现再也见不到
能不能就这样忍著痛泪不掉
说好陪我到老 又狠往哪里走
再次拥抱一分一秒都好

天亮了 雨下了 你走了
清楚了 我爱的 遗失了
落叶飘在湖面上睡著了

想要放 放不掉 泪在飘
你看看 你看看 看不到
我假装过去不重要 却发现自己办不到

说了再见 才发现再也见不到
我不能就这样失去你的微笑
口红待在桌脚 而你我找不到
若角色对调你说好不好

你的笑 你的好 脑海里 一直在绕
我的手 忘不了 你手的温度
心碎了一地 捡不回从前的心跳 伤心过去我无力逃跑

说再见 才发现再也见不到
能不能就这样忍著痛泪不掉
说好陪我到老 又狠往哪里走
再次拥抱一分一秒都好

Portraits

2011-12-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

Ah ha!

2011-12-17T19:22:00.000+08:00

I'm probably the rare few in the world that shares my experience on dealing with depression. Some may think I'm crazy to reveal so much, but I believe this sharing will benefit many others reading this. Nice of me right? :)

I'm as normal as everyone else is. I carry on life as usual, just that I'm injured emotionally. So the next time you see me, just treat me as a normal guy. :)

Remember the fever, cold or cough you had before? Just like any other illness, depression has its symptoms. Some may think that depression is complaining or lamenting. Actually, these so called "complains", "laments", "grieve" are symptoms. Depression may be considered as mild as the common cold. Depression may even be considered as serious as cancer. The severity depends on whether the victim manage to deal with it or sought help.

Unfortunately, society isn't fully aware or educated to understand why it happens, or even worse, misunderstood or judge the symptoms as merely complains. When the victim exhausts his/her source of support, the unthinkable may happen. So please don't judge what you don't know.

I consulted a counsellor (lets call her "Ellen" for now) recentlyto seek more insights.

She feels that I have a "caregiver/ hero syndrome"; trying to help too many withtoo little. I think too much, plan too much, worry too much. My sources ofconcern stem from those close to me; family, ex-gf, my cousin. This caused me to be emotionally exhausted. Coupled with my poor health condition, this probably made things worse.

Ellen thinks I'm too generous and naive with love, and my ex is too selfish and clever with love. I always like to use my own effort to craft hand-made gifts for my ex as it is more meaningful. I often played many roles, supporting her when she went for her part time studies. We knew each other extremely well and complemented in many ways. During the 6 months of my part time studies, Ellen shared that my ex probably felt neglected and wanted more time tobe with her. On the otherhand, an understanding and mature partner would stand by his/her side tosupport or allow time and space when required. Some may think 6 months is short, some may think its long. On a fair note, the lack ofcommunication during the busy period was likely the key reason for the misunderstanding. My ex was well prepared for this breakup, but I was totally caught off guard. The emotional pain is likely because I still hope to get back together with my ex. Ellen warned me that as time passes, this probability drops significantly, so I should not hold high hopes.

Ellen thinks I'm too nice, too nice that even my ex took it for granted. She cautioned that I have to be careful, especially in this "dog eat dog" world. She did mentioned I'm an unpolished diamond, and have alot of potential to go far. :) Unfortunately, circumstances dictate that I'm still unpolished at the moment.

The priority now is to get my health back on track and get connected to my friends.

Besides looking for a counsellor, I had also seen a doctor. I was prescribed with anti-depressants (Amitriptyline). I'm given a low dosage for a start as the doctor doesn't want me to rely too much on it. As I myself do not want to be addicted to such drugs, and I haven't even start taking the medicine. Haha... opps. =P

Other than medication and counselling, I'm planning to re-trace my hobbies (e.g. photography, ktv, jogging). I would not be subscribing to any religion at the moment. Because I realised that what everyone ultimately needs is just to see purpose in life, and seek support/guidance. These days, religion has become too commercialized (run like a business) for my liking. Many also forget that many gods, buddhas, deities, divine beings originated from human beings. So in effect, we human beings are the creators of religion and all divine beings. Logical isn't it? Unfortunately, religious followers may dispel what I mentioned. I respect all religion and their beliefs. But I would probably pick up the "goodness" in terms of how we live our lives (e.g. be respectful, kind). I would prefer to keep an rational, open mind and see things from all perspective.

As a guy, I know this sounds mushy but the best "medicine" is still love. Sometimes you don't need the whole world to love you, just one will do. :)

Portraits

2011-12-11T21:38:00.001+08:00

人的一生会遇上的四个人

2011-12-06T22:07:00.000+08:00

人生就是为了找寻爱的过程，每个人的人生都要找到四个人。

第一个是自己，
第二个是你最爱的人，
第三个是最爱你的人，
第四个是共度一生的人。

人生就是要做工

2011-12-05T18:43:00.001+08:00

Nature Photography

2011-12-04T21:04:00.001+08:00

Nature Photography

2011-12-03T17:46:00.001+08:00

Depression - Solutions

2011-12-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

I have to thank those who made me snap out of it.
There was a wide variety "insights"; words of encouragement, sharing of their personal experiences, and even scoldings.

Below are some insights (some thought provoking, and a few are ridiculously funny) which I tailored to suit my condition:
1. Since you wanted to die, better to die happy than sad.
    Find happiness.
    When you find happiness, you won't even think of dying.

2. Don't bottle up frustrations in life.
    It will overflow and drown you out.
    Have a regular "outlet" to release them.

3. Your parents created you.
    They gave you permission to live.
    Did you ask for their permission to die?

4. Not all battles are worth fighting for.
    Fight for the ones that you are confident of winning.

5. Surround yourself with happy people, and get infected.
    Happiness is a dish best shared.

6. Happiness won't look for you, you have to find it.
    Sadness will stick to you, you have to leave it.

7. If you want to die, don't waste what you have.
    Donate your organs, hands and legs.
    There are plenty of handicapped people out there who wants to live.

8. Keep an open mind. Do not be a slave to your own thoughts.
    Do not be fixated at any single belief.
    Because there is always a lie in what we believe in.

9. Life is never fair, which is why the sun is here to stay.
    Don't take life too seriously.
    Laugh at yourself, and reflect on the amazing things you do.

10. Regularly pamper yourself and relax.

11. If you cannot find your happiness, help others find theirs.
      There is no regret in being kind.
      People who appreciates your kindness deserves your extra attention.

12. Do not just accept what you cannot change.
      To have a good closure, recognize and understand why.
      You do not need bountiful courage to change the things you can.
      You just need simple motivation and sense of purpose.

13. If time is money, everyone is equally rich and poor.
      Spend it on things you can make an impact.

14. Constantly motivate yourself.
      Finish off what you started.
      Set new goals after completion.

15. Maintain good balance between body, mind and soul.
      Eat well.
      Think well.
      Rest well.

16. If you find your life too crowded, too busy, too tiring.
      Indulge in occassional nothingness; no work, no demands, no rush.
      Doing nothing helps clear your mind.

17. Keep calm and carry on.

Depression - Road to recovery

2011-12-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

Phew, the last post was not my last.

I took a quiz at Health Promotion Board website to check my severity of depression:
http://www.hpb.gov.sg/depressionquiz/

Scoring 16 out of 27 means I'm having moderate to severe depression and should seek treatment if my condition doesn't improve in 2 weeks. I didn't seek treatment for 6 months, so that means I better start doing something soon.

1. I need to understand more about depression. I do display some of the symptoms listed:
http://www.hpb.gov.sg/mentalhealth/article.aspx?id=10210

2. There were several facts & myths of depression which I was surprised to read:
http://www.hpb.gov.sg/mentalhealth/article.aspx?id=10202

This was the biggest myth for me:
MYTH: Depression is a sign of weakness.
FACT: Depression is unrelated to the strength of someone’s character; it is a serious medical condition like asthma or diabetes. Depression is often triggered by major life events that may be challenging to cope with, e.g., the loss of a loved one, loss of job, etc.

3. There are different types of depression.
http://youthinmind.sg/bust-the-myth/depression/types/
Reviewing my symptoms, I believe I'm a mix between Dysthymia & Depression. I know of someone with bipolar depression and the best "antidote" for that person was constant support.

4. There are some ways to treat depression:
- Medical (e.g. antidepressants)
- Psychological/ counseling
- Support from family & friends
- Lifestyle changes
- Communicate/ Don't bottle things up/ Talk to someone you can trust

I probably need a combination of the above to recover. The most important factor is to facilitate my mind's healing mechanism. One indicator to monitor whether I'm recovering is the number of times i think of suicide in each week or month.

Some friends may ask me why reveal so much?
The more we hide, the more tiring it gets. I treat my blog as my psychatrist and my readers as my "life counselors". As my conscience is clear, I'm comfortable with sharing my life experience. My personal experience may also possibly help someone else who need it.

Good luck to me.

Depression

2011-12-01T06:30:00.000+08:00

Most people who suffer from it prefers not to talk about it.
Those who have not gone through it may not be able to comprehend the thoughtsof those who got it.
Yet, those who got it need the support and understanding of those aroundhim/her.

Depression.

I’m having this emotional injury for about 6 months now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I believe I’m at minimally 7.

I never thought I would suffer from this, but I’m increasingly aware that Imight be losing “it”.
While I can, I better pen down my thoughts.

If I look normal, I must be doing well to mask my pain.
Suffering in silence makes the pain more painful.

I have lost interest in many things in life.
I used to like running, now I haven’t exercise for a few months. I’m skippingstandard chartered this year, and looks like I won’t be going for any long runsin the future.
I used to like photography, but now I don’t have anyone to share the joy with.
I used to like singing, but who do I sing to now?
I used to enjoy watching soccer, but now I don’t even bother to check thescores.
I actually started to like travelling overseas after knowing my gf, but herabsence now makes this a dream non-existence.

I do have suicidal thoughts in the past few months.
I sometimes question myself why I’m still alive.
I have contemplated how I should leave this world. Certainly I won’t trouble orinconvenience anyone. Jumping off buildings, MRT platforms, or drowning inreservoirs are out. Peaceful departure is certainly the best option.

I no longer have any motivation or goals in life.
Everything that I strive to do or aim to achieve seemed to have vanished overthe year.

Everyone is busy, have their lives to carry on, their families to look after.
I did not want to disturb nor impose anything on anyone.

Thank you for taking notice and reading this.

Reflecting on the events that led up to me in this state:

1. Part time studies. (Dec 2010 – June 2011)
It may seem “harmless” to many, but I hesitated for a long time beforeembarking on my post grad diploma. It was a 6 months intensive, part-timestudies to be held over Fridays evenings, full days on Saturdays and Sundays. Theschedule was very compressed with projects, (sometimes requiring writtenreports and presentations), and exams every month. I always had the thought ofchanging career pathways and wanted to do something that can help the employeesand organisation grow and develop. What I didn’t realise was I had to sacrificeso much in the process of doing so.

The major challenges I faced while on the course:
- Project Deadlines - considering everyone was holding their day job, projectdeadlines were a nightmare (we usually only have about 2 or 3 weeks to completeit).
- Having no weekends. Quite literally, I often try to take Monday leave to recuperateand catch up on projects and readings. But my biggest concern was having littletime to spare for my gf.
- Balancing work with studies. Our financial year end closing is onMarch/April, which coincides with my course duration (Dec 2010 – June 2011).With the already punishing project deadlines, I was having lots of stressduring the months of March/April/May.
- Health issues. Knowing I cannot stay up late, having evening lessons was abig headache. As the school was located very far away from my home, I usuallytake about 2 hours to be back. It was taking a big toll on my body. Physicallyand mentally, I was near breakdown.
- Time for my gf. I was extremely exhausted and experienced burn-out by June. Thefeeling of numbness sets in. I needed time and space to recharge but alsoreally want to make up for lost time (to some people, 6 months is consideredshort, to her, its considered long). But alas, it was all too late for her…

End results:
- lost gf.
- worsen my health.
- nothing I learnt from the course was in any way useful or relevant in currentwork.
- wasted money & time.

I lost much that its simply not worth it.

2. “Crony corporate backstabbing” (June 2011).
I treat everyone well regardless of who they are. Yet, sometimes treatingothers well does not guarantee that they will reciprocate. I am a simple andoften a naïve person. Perhaps being so entitled others to step over me. Whileleaving my previous job, I experienced some unpleasant dealings which exposedthe ugly side of a few people. I shall not share the details but I was politicallyframed and things were blown out of proportion. It benefitted no one, and someof colleagues were also shocked at the way things were handled. I had to spenda lot of time and effort trying to defend myself. Not having time to rechargewas already very tiring, yet this had to happen at this time.

3. Breakup (June 2011).
This had to be the biggest trigger of my depression.

Things were going well before I went for studies. Last year this time, we werediscussing which possible hdb flats to buy. We were also discussing if I shouldgo ahead for my part time studies. She said she would support me.

During the period of my studies, I was worried I would neglect her. Often Iwould try to convince her to go out with her friends. During the last fewmonths of studies (April/May/June), I sometimes don’t even have the “energy” tosms or cheer her up. This lack of communication probably made her feelinsecure. Even though I really wish to compensate for lost time, I wonder ifshe would be happier without me. She suggested to breakup, while I hesitated, Iwas willing to let go… only for that moment... It was heart-wrenching.

I probably wasted buckets of tears the next few weeks that follow. Even thoughI tried to win her back, she was determined not to allow me to. I wanted tocelebrate her birthday with her, she didn’t want me too. It was very very verypainful. The harsh words she used still sticks clearly in my mind : “you don’t meet my needs anymore”. Unknowingly, i've become a tool, albeit a useless one now. Why?Why does she have to be so cruel? I swear I’m a nice person and never did anythingthat harm her. I was by her side when she was completing her part time studieslast year, supporting her all the way. Yet, when it was my turn…

All I needed at that point of time was a little bit of patienceand understanding. I still love her and that was probably why I felt a deep cutdown my heart.

Today should have been our “2^nd anniversary”.

4. Cyst/Growth. (Sept – Nov 2011).

I had a cyst which started to grow in early 2011. I suspected itwas due to the stress I was facing. The cyst grew big in size (50cent coinsize) by September and erupted (seemingly an indication my physically state wasalso in a breakdown mode together with my mental and emotional state). Theresult was a big hole which I could even see the blood tissues and vessels. I neverfully “recovered”. I could not exercise for 3 months, and never felt like exercisingafter that, and now.

5. Persistent health problems:
- Skin – I have chronic dermatitis (eczema) and would experience breakouts if Ihave insufficient rest, come into contact with dusty environment, extremechanges in temperature (e.g. too hot or too cold), or even under stress. I’m allergicto nickel (that’s why I seldom wear watches, and cannot hold keys or coins toolong). I’m allergic to seafood (I avoid eating prawns or crabs). I have hives (outbreaksoccur if I got insect bites). All these were thanks to the camouflage cream I putduring national service.
- Nerve (having pain and soreness everyday on the facial area near my right eyeand ears). I went for numerous tests to no avail; I went to the ENT clinic atSGH, went for CT scan, went for MRI scan at National Neuroscience Institute.
I went for a lasik suitability test at Singapore Eye Centre to see if I was finefor lasik, but test results showed that I had thin cornea and would not besuitable for normal lasik. I was offered the customized epi-lasik but thehigher costs and risks made me reconsider. I tried using contact lens, but thepain only subsided for a brief moment.
- Gastric – having irregular meals or skipping meals will trigger gastricpains. Spicy food and coffee will also trigger gastric pains.
- Chronic fatigue – I seldom spent late nights as I would experience fatiguethe following day. I wake up early everyday irregardless if its a working dayor weekend (and this is regardless of what time is sleep on the previous night).My bio clock usually do so automatically, without relying on the alarm clock. Certainly,this is bad problem when it comes to chasing deadlines at work.
- Broken finger. I had a broken (crushed) finger on my right hand while innational service. These days, I seem to experience some pain for no reason.
-Dental – I went for surgery in 2001 to remove a premolar tooth that wasgrowing vertically inside my gums. Till today I still have 2 baby teeths insidemy mouth. Dentists have continuously warned that if they drop off, I have ahuge gap to fill. I went for 2 root canal treatments in the past few years, andwill need to go for another one soon.

6. Family issues:
- I come from a less well to do family and tried my best to pull them out of“poverty”.
- I really want to talk more but in the best interest of my family, i better to keep issues offline.

7. Meaning in life:
- I am at complete loss of my sense of being and purpose in life. While what I wantedall along was just simple happiness, the actions that I took seem to bring meto the wrong destination. All the events that led me here, right now,
- I try to constantly remind myself there are still many things in life that I cando. But again, even completing these, everyone have to eventually pass away.
- When I think of death, I’m reminded of the passing of my 2 grandmothers andmy 2 young army buddies. They passed away in painful state. I have not seen orheard anyone die happily.
- No one wants to die. But yet, how many of us chose to be born in the firstplace? I can now appreciate what Steve Job had said. “Death is the common destination we all share. No one has everescaped it. . And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the singlebest invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old tomake way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long fromnow, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be sodramatic, but it is quite true.”

My mental and physical deterioration had caused my emotional being to losestrength. I used to be a positive, cheerful and happy person. Now the happinessI have are superficial and quickly fades away. I hold no hatred to anyone, no even those who were cruel to me or those who step over me. They must have their reasons for doing so.

Experiencing pain means I’m still alive. Over the past year, life hadbecome a painful struggle; emotionally, physically, mentally. Everytime I tryto save myself, I lose precious support or another event unknowingly crawl upon me and drag me down.

When I say I live in pain everyday, I really mean it.

Thank you for reading this far.

I hope this is not my last post.

Everyone needs it

2011-11-27T18:25:00.000+08:00

Even plants need love...

Age of Stupid

2011-11-21T21:16:00.001+08:00

I watched the "Age of Stupid" on ChannelNewsAsia last night with some interesting after-thoughts.

It is a drama-documentary which highlights mankind's own doing which would result in the worsening of earth's climate. Global warming is a real threat. In the film, an archivist was narrating some of past actions of mankind. Probably the one statement that strikes me was : "why we didn't save ourselves when we had the chance?". It certainly does not take any miracle to do it. Yet, many of us take it for granted and seem so fixated on our own desires.

I noted an idea from the film about implementing "Carbon Currency" in the UK. This currency would stipulate an allowance of how much carbon footprint each person is entitled to "use or utilize" on a daily/monthly/yearly basis. This ensures adequate rationing of usage of items across everyone around the country or state e.g. using public transport would produce less carbon footprint vs driving. This indeed would be a fair system where everyone can clearly be engaged and have a stake or responsibility in climate change. However, the difficulty in pushing for this would come from various sources; political pressures, profit-driven mindsets of corporations, self-fulfilling desires of mankind. In other words, many do not see what's in it for them (at least not in the near term).

Unfortunately, globalization, commercialization, consumerism, and increased standard of living have caused us to always want more or demand better. This results in us producing more than we need, often creating wastage and stressing the already fragile ecology unnecessarily. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consumerism

Earth had suffered increasing amounts of damage done by human beings. She have been giving signals which we often brush off as "nature's rare occurence", "act of god", "god's will". If we reflect on the natural disasters that are happening around us, you will notice the increasing frequency and impact each of these has. E.g. more tsunamis, bigger floods, sudden changes in temperatures, increasing temperatures, more earthquakes, etc. Instead of praying, we could do much much better by doing. We can control our destiny and have a say in how we want our environment to be. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_warming

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/last-chance-save-kyoto-deal-climate-talks-121918586.html

Some common everyday items which contributes to carbon emissions include consumption of meat (especially beef) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_impact_of_meat_production , taking to the skies via aeroplanes , excessive use of electricity.

Calculate how much you contribute to global warming here:
http://green.yahoo.com/calculator/

To see how you can reduce carbon emissions:
http://www.lowcarbonsg.com/

This is no joke, we all play a part. On behalf of Mother Earth, I would like to appeal to everyone reading this to help raise awareness. Do not think what we can't see can't hurt us now, because, when we do, it could be too late.

第一排的人生

2011-11-14T20:57:00.001+08:00

Click to see larger image.
Life is not about getting your "seats" quickest. What is more important is to find the "seats" that fit you best.

Sony A35

2011-11-13T20:57:00.001+08:00

after years of contemplation...
finally got my Sony A35 yesterday at harvey norman millenia walk.
they were having a sale and i got it at $799 (kit lens + 8gb card + messenger bag + 50mm lens).
now looking for a good price for 75-300mm lens.

this is my 1st dslr (actually its a dslt), finally...

more info about A35:
http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/sonyslta35/
http://www.sony.com.sg/product/slt-a35k

yet, my heart still miss something...

Rewiring our mind for happiness

2011-11-06T20:55:00.000+08:00

The recent debate on using Gross National Happiness had gathered significant attention.

Here are some points raised by various parties:
http://theonlinecitizen.com/2011/10/sylvia-lim-asks-government-focus-on-happiness/
http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20111020-306096.html
http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_725527.html

I feel that happiness is a vital indicator of the wealth of a nation. Dr Matthieu Ricard (http://www.matthieuricard.org/en/) believes that true prosperity is measured with a trio of 3 gauges: Gross Domestic Product, Life Satisfaction based on a happiness index, and environmental quality. If a country is rich and powerful, but everyone is unhappy, what's the point? After all, nations pursue affluence in the expectation that some good will arise from that quest.

There is nothing wrong with riches. It is what we do with the money that counts. Wealth can be a destructive or constructive tool. An example of destructive usage can be seen in the fraudulent financier Bernard Madoff. Examples of constructive usage can come in forms of donations or philanthropy.

Quote from http://www.matthieuricard.org/en/index.php/archives/2011/08/

"Developing our own positive inner qualities is the best way to help others in a more effective way. At the beginning, our personal experience is our only reference point. Our personal, self-centered experience, which tells us that we don’t want to suffer, can become the basis for a much larger point of view that includes all beings. We are all dependent on each other and we all aspire to happiness. It would be absurd (if not impossible) to feel happy while countless other beings all around us are miserable. Seeking happiness for oneself alone is doomed to failure, since self-centeredness is a major source of our discontent. Even if we display all the outward signs of happiness, we cannot be truly happy if we fail to take an interest in the happiness of others. Altruistic love and compassion are the foundations of genuine happiness.

These remarks are not intended to be moralistic; they simply reflect reality. Seeking happiness selfishly is a sure way to make yourself, or anyone else, unhappy. Some people might think that the smartest way to guarantee their own well-being is to isolate themselves from others and to work hard at their own happiness, without consideration for what other people are experiencing. They probably assume that if everybody did that, we’d all be happy. But the result would be exactly the opposite: instead of being happy, they would be torn between hope and fear, make their own lives miserable, and ruin the lives of the people around them too. In the end, just “looking out for number one” is a losing proposition for everybody. One of the fundamental reasons such an approach is doomed is that the world is not made up of independent entities endowed with intrinsic properties that make them by nature beautiful or ugly, friends or enemies. Things and beings are essentially interdependent and in a constant state of transformation. The very elements that compose them only exist in relationship to each other. The self-centered approach of the ego continually runs afoul of this reality and only succeeds in creating frustration.

Altruistic love—also called loving-kindness— is the wish that others be happy and that they find the true causes of happiness. Compassion is defined as the desire to put an end to the suffering of others and the causes of that suffering. These are not merely noble sentiments; they are feelings that are fundamentally in tune with reality. All beings want to avoid suffering just as much as we do. Moreover, since we are all interdependent, our own happiness and unhappiness are intimately bound up with the happiness and unhappiness of others. Cultivating love and compassion is a win-win situation.

Personal experience shows that they are the most positive of all mental states and create a deep sense of fulfillment and wholesomeness. Research in neuroscience also indicates that among all kinds of meditations, those focusing on unconditional love and compassion give rise to the strongest activation of brain areas related to positive affects. In addition, the behavior these forms of meditation give rise to is intended to benefit others.

If the deeds we perform for the sake of others are to have the intended benefit, they must also be guided by wisdom—the wisdom that we can acquire through analysis and meditation and that gives us a more correct understanding of reality. The ultimate reason for meditating is to transform ourselves in order to be better able to transform the world. To put it another way, we transform ourselves so that we can become better human beings and serve others in a wiser and more effective way. "

To achieve happiness, we need to get rid of "mental poison" (e.g. greed). The need to cultivate positive emotions will arise naturally. Sufferings and pain provides extraordinary lessons capable of making us aware of the superficiality of our own lives. I believe everyone have undergone some form of suffering or pain in some point of their lives. After undergoing the ordeal, have we reflect and learn to treasure what we have?

You are an employee to everything

2011-11-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder why there is high unemployment across the whole? Some blame the recession, some blame the companies, some blame the government.

How about technology? With automation, people do more themselves.

Many manual tasks performed by clerks, agents, cashiers, secretaries are not taken care of by machines or automation. The technology that lets us pay credit card bills online, go shopping online, scan our IC, has ironically turn us into an "employee" in the process - so called self service.

The march of technology is quickening. Faster, cheaper computer processors and software are giving machines capabilities that were once thought to be distinctively human, like understanding speech, translating from one language to another and recognizing patterns. So automation is rapidly moving beyond factories to jobs in call centers, marketing and sales - parts of the services sector which provides most jobs in the economy.

The demand for knowledge, fast service and convenience have risen with increasing income levels. It sounds weird, but people are willing to pay to have things done by themselves.

So the next time you see a news on unemployment, ask yourself if we were all involved in process. All of us have, in one way or another, taken over someone's job out there.

Life's simple moments

2011-10-30T17:22:00.001+08:00

Sublime happiness can be enjoyed upon timelessness of the experience.

Everything is in a constant flux on earth. Nothing remains the same. The objects of our affection change and pass away. There is nothing solid for our hearts to cling to. So how can we know lasting contentment?

How can we give the name of happiness to a fleeting state which leaves our hearts still empty and anxious, either regretting something that is past or desiring something that is yet to come? Is there a place where there was no need to remember the past or reach into the future? Is there a place where the present runs on indefinitely?

I realise this sublime state cannot be experienced by everyone, in every situation. The heart must be calm, untroubled and the environment must be conducive. In reality, we cannot have a total calm or untroubled environment as we do not live in vacuum. However, we can seek moderation.

A steady and moderation motion, with no jolts or breaks can provide the adequate amount of happiness we need.

Too much movement will shake us from our reveries.
Too much stillness leads to lethargy.
Too much noise will distract us.
Too much silence induces melancholy.

I used to find life's simple happiness in photography - capturing life's moment in time. For more a varied dosage of tranquility, i used to enjoy a slow jog by the canal.

Are there any life's simple moments that you enjoy?

爱得太晚

2011-10-29T16:32:00.000+08:00

古巨基 - 爱得太晚

小时候老朋友什么都玩
可是毕业之后上班下班
有叙旧没话题
很无奈完成一顿晚饭

很久没和爸爸贴心交谈
却发现他动作沧桑缓慢
满脸皱纹漫长
见证我成长内疚也辛酸
时间太赶爱得太晚
想见的人待到灯火也阑珊
为了不平凡
忙忙忙会让人盲
赢到了风光输去了我的心肝
一去不返怎么样补偿
迟了一秒历史不会再转弯
不管怎么样见见想见的脸盘
我有责任去放肆一场
活着总要找人分享

我为了一口饭忘了健康
没有空看医生太忙太赶
喜欢的电影都没精力看完
堆在床畔

为了她不停赚计划美满
趁圣诞送指环多么浪漫
想不到恋人说好久没见了
已找到新欢
时间太赶爱得太晚
最爱的人待到感情已腐烂
为了不平凡
忙忙忙会让人盲
赢到了风光输去了我的心肝
一去不返怎么样补偿
迟了一秒历史不会再转弯
不管怎么样见见想见的脸庞
我有责任去放肆一场
不要让下一次变遗憾

拥抱一下像拈花弹一弹多么短
可是比事业还漫长
几秒钟够你一生难忘
青春太短每个人在忙
计划人生忘了命运的无常
明天会更好想象未来多圆满
今夜刚有伴就让现在变灿烂
生命苦短人不过是人
遥望理想看不到身边一半
可来日方长把快乐酿成习惯
世界有太多东西流转
别把风景搬上天堂

Wise words

2011-08-14T20:42:00.000+08:00

Quotes

2011-08-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

"Stop thinking of what could go wrong and start thinking of what could go right."

"There is always a lie in what you believe."

"Being true to yourself is better than being a liar just to impress everyone else."

"The most difficult phase in life is not when no one understands you, it is when you don't understand yourself."

Wise words

2011-07-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

Quotes

2011-07-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

Wise words

2011-07-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

周华健 - 让我欢喜让我忧

2011-06-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

Singapore Flyer

2010-01-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

"Early valentine celebration"

Marina Barrage

2010-01-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

Kite Flying

Sentosa

2010-01-01T17:55:00.000+08:00

Butterfly park

X'mas party

2009-12-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

X'mas at Changi Airport

2009-12-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

Sungei Buloh

2009-11-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

Sunset

2009-10-10T15:26:00.002+08:00

Toys

2009-09-22T09:35:00.002+08:00

Toys which my 10 yr old cousin plays with.

Hort Park

2009-08-22T17:49:00.003+08:00